Sunday, January 24, 2010

A Small Lesson Learned in the Midst of a Big Week

Coming home from the hospital is always a whirlwind in and of itself for me... let alone transitioning into life and treatment on new (and very strong) medications... and we won't even mention beginning the process of sorting through all that last week brought to the table. I'm exhausted, but I'm ok. God is good and he has been with me every step of the way so far. I don't expect that to change. But so much else has...

There is already so much to write. I'm just not quite up to it as of yet. I will be sharing more as I'm able... so please be patient with me. Just know that for now, God is with me, I am ok, and I just need some time.

That said, let me leave you with a simple, yet profound lesson I learned as I walked through the events of the last couple weeks:

"Never put off until tomorrow what is on your heart to share with someone today."

I quickly learned how much of everything gets stripped away when you think you won't have much time left to share with people what's really boiled down to importance in your heart. There really are precious few things in this life... and they really are precious.

If you love someone, tell them.
If you're happy they're next to you, share that with them.
If they've made a difference in your life, let them know how.

Take a moment to look for these things amidst your day. They're right there. They always have been. We just manage to overlook them too often in the midst of our busyness and focus on other things. Look for those things that really matter to you. Ponder them and point them out. You never know what an amazing impact you'll have on a person's heart and life when you do... Take it from someone who knows.

"Never put off until tomorrow what is on your heart to share with someone today."

Saturday, January 16, 2010

A New Development

I'm writing from the hospital because there has been some misinformation going out about what has developed in my disease and prognosis over this week and I would like to clarify the matter directly.

During the holidays, I began to develop some significant headaches. After coming into the hospital for my regularly scheduled radiation on Monday, I was sent to the ER and given a CAT Scan to try to determine the cause of my headaches. That scan showed signs of metastatic disease in my brain, which means that the uterine cancer I was originally diagnosed with has spread into my head. This, obviously, is very bad news. This isn't a bump in the road. It's a major and very unexpected glitch in my journey. I was so close to finishing radiation and looking forward to remission... and now, yet again, we are realizing just how very aggressive my cancer is. It is rare for uterine cancer to spread beyond the pelvic area and mine has. It is even more rare that it would spread into the brain and mine has. I cannot deny that this is a very serious turn for the worse.

My gynecologic oncologist, Dr. Silver has made it clear that the average oncologist that he could consult to look at my case would determine based on statistics alone that I likely only have a few months to live. HOWEVER, Dr. Silver has been my primary doctor from the beginning of my treatment and does not believe this to be the case. Already, I have faced several obstacles in my diagnosis and treatment that I should not have been able to overcome. Yet, here I stand. Dr. Silver is hopeful that because of my young age and good health we have reason to expect that I will be able to continue on with an aggressive treatment plan.

For now, the plan is for me to continue on to finish pelvic radiation as planned and as of this week, I have begun full head radiation as well. Our goal remains the same... to try to get me into remission. Haiti is now completely out of the picture for me, however, as I cannot take a break in my now-continued radiation treatments.

I greatly appreciate your continued prayers and expressions of love through this difficult time. We serve a great God who still has a purpose and plan in all of this!